October 7, 2007 @ 3:04 a.m.
"Inspire me, Child, to stretch my world as you stretch yours."
-Patricia H. Sprinkle
"Not again."
That is the exact thought that went through my mind as I heard the fussing coming from the monitor. My son made habit of getting up every hour and a half to two hours every single night since we brought him home from the hospital. He made a few exceptions every once in a while, but he never strayed too far from his routine. I rolled over and looked at the clock. 1:45…in the morning. The only problem I have with this is that he is 9 months old and is supposed to be "out of this stage." I was so exhausted. I nudged my husband, hoping…praying that he would get up and tend to the baby.
Nothing. Ok, something. He grunted at me.
I stalled for a couple more seconds, hoping that maybe he would find his bottle and soothe himself back to sleep. No such luck. I rolled out of bed, frustrated and exhausted. My goal was to get him back to sleep as fast as physically possible so that I could do the same. As I opened the door to his bedroom, I gasped. Then I heaved a sigh of frustration. Then I laughed. My son was standing, holding onto the side of his crib, jumping up and down. The smile on his face was so big that his two new teeth were shining so bright that they lit up the dark room. He was so excited to see me.
Still a bit frustrated at the fact that he was so awake at nearly two in the morning, I walked over to his crib and laid him down. I handed him his bottle and turned to leave the room. Before I could reach for the doorknob, he was back to standing at the edge of his crib. He let out a little, "aaauh" as if to alert me to the fact that he wasn't quite finished with me, like "where you going, mom?" With my frustration reaching its peak, I walked back over and picked him up. He laid his head on my shoulder and smiled. I turned on his mobile and carried him to the rocking chair. I sat him on my lap and we rocked in silence, watching the images of fish and stars radiate from the mobile as it sang "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star." So enthralled with this late night light show with mommy, my son was bouncing up and down in my lap, clapping excitedly. At this point, all the exhaustion and frustrations went out the window. I was so wrapped up in him. He saw something so simple as something so exciting. We watched the mobile and I sang the song to him as it played. He sang along with me in his own beautiful way, clapping all the while.
All of the sudden, the mobile stopped. But then, as if by magic (or perhaps thanks to my handy-dandy mobile remote), the mobile started up again, igniting a round of cheers from my infant. I knew he was sleepy because he was rubbing his eyes like crazy while he watched these strange shapes dance across his bedroom. I didn't know the song that played when the mobile started back up, so I sang to him "Amazing Grace." Amazing Grace…how sweet the sound. I once was lost but now I'm found. Found. I found myself in this beautiful little boy sprawled out on his mommy's lap. This baby boy who found comfort and security in mommy's lap.
-Patricia H. Sprinkle
"Not again."
That is the exact thought that went through my mind as I heard the fussing coming from the monitor. My son made habit of getting up every hour and a half to two hours every single night since we brought him home from the hospital. He made a few exceptions every once in a while, but he never strayed too far from his routine. I rolled over and looked at the clock. 1:45…in the morning. The only problem I have with this is that he is 9 months old and is supposed to be "out of this stage." I was so exhausted. I nudged my husband, hoping…praying that he would get up and tend to the baby.
Nothing. Ok, something. He grunted at me.
I stalled for a couple more seconds, hoping that maybe he would find his bottle and soothe himself back to sleep. No such luck. I rolled out of bed, frustrated and exhausted. My goal was to get him back to sleep as fast as physically possible so that I could do the same. As I opened the door to his bedroom, I gasped. Then I heaved a sigh of frustration. Then I laughed. My son was standing, holding onto the side of his crib, jumping up and down. The smile on his face was so big that his two new teeth were shining so bright that they lit up the dark room. He was so excited to see me.
Still a bit frustrated at the fact that he was so awake at nearly two in the morning, I walked over to his crib and laid him down. I handed him his bottle and turned to leave the room. Before I could reach for the doorknob, he was back to standing at the edge of his crib. He let out a little, "aaauh" as if to alert me to the fact that he wasn't quite finished with me, like "where you going, mom?" With my frustration reaching its peak, I walked back over and picked him up. He laid his head on my shoulder and smiled. I turned on his mobile and carried him to the rocking chair. I sat him on my lap and we rocked in silence, watching the images of fish and stars radiate from the mobile as it sang "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star." So enthralled with this late night light show with mommy, my son was bouncing up and down in my lap, clapping excitedly. At this point, all the exhaustion and frustrations went out the window. I was so wrapped up in him. He saw something so simple as something so exciting. We watched the mobile and I sang the song to him as it played. He sang along with me in his own beautiful way, clapping all the while.
All of the sudden, the mobile stopped. But then, as if by magic (or perhaps thanks to my handy-dandy mobile remote), the mobile started up again, igniting a round of cheers from my infant. I knew he was sleepy because he was rubbing his eyes like crazy while he watched these strange shapes dance across his bedroom. I didn't know the song that played when the mobile started back up, so I sang to him "Amazing Grace." Amazing Grace…how sweet the sound. I once was lost but now I'm found. Found. I found myself in this beautiful little boy sprawled out on his mommy's lap. This baby boy who found comfort and security in mommy's lap.
With God's help, my husband and I created the most beautiful little boy in the entire world. God trusted us with this precious life, to teach him and to guide him. Funny, though, how I find myself being taught by him. At that very moment, he was teaching me to appreciate even the smallest things. He was teaching me to, for once in my crazy, hectic life to have no regard for time and focus on the moment. So I did. Not only did I focus on the moment, I bathed in it. I soaked in it. I sang to him, I dozed off with him. I wrapped myself up in his skin against my skin, his heart beating in time with mine.
Sometime during second or third round of "Amazing Grace," I dozed off. I looked down and saw that my son was asleep. I laid him down and covered him up. I walked, no, floated out of his bedroom and into my own. I was on cloud nine. I felt so refreshed. 2:38. Really? It didn't seem like near that long. Maybe I was sleepier than I thought I was. No. It said 2:38. We slept for five hours before that monitor woke me up again. I woke up that morning feeling better than I've felt in a long time, closer to my son than ever…and more like a mommy than when I went to bed last night. He taught me something, something I hope to never forget. Something a week from now will probably be a distant memory. I don't worry, though. I know that if I forget the valuable lesson he taught me last night, he will beckon me to his room and I will find him standing, waiting for me.
It is 10 p.m. He just woke up, like clockwork….two hours after going to bed. After tending to him, I'm going to bed. I want to be sure that I am well rested so that I can enjoy our next late night light show.
Sometime during second or third round of "Amazing Grace," I dozed off. I looked down and saw that my son was asleep. I laid him down and covered him up. I walked, no, floated out of his bedroom and into my own. I was on cloud nine. I felt so refreshed. 2:38. Really? It didn't seem like near that long. Maybe I was sleepier than I thought I was. No. It said 2:38. We slept for five hours before that monitor woke me up again. I woke up that morning feeling better than I've felt in a long time, closer to my son than ever…and more like a mommy than when I went to bed last night. He taught me something, something I hope to never forget. Something a week from now will probably be a distant memory. I don't worry, though. I know that if I forget the valuable lesson he taught me last night, he will beckon me to his room and I will find him standing, waiting for me.
It is 10 p.m. He just woke up, like clockwork….two hours after going to bed. After tending to him, I'm going to bed. I want to be sure that I am well rested so that I can enjoy our next late night light show.
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